It's not about skill, it's about CAPACITY

I have had one consistent conversation over the last year with myself, with students, with colleagues... "It's not about your skill, it's about your capacity."

When someone comes to me with a new project idea or a request for help, what's my first thought?

"Am I capable of doing this? Do I have the talent, the ability, the knowledge, the insight?"

When the answer to those questions is YES, then I want to answer YES to the ask. YES, I'm good at that! YES, that would be such an interesting project! YES, I could make such a great difference in this process!

I want to say YES because I want to demonstrate my skill. I want to exercise those muscles that I've worked so hard to develop - and let's be honest, I want to show off! I want other people to see that I can do that thing, to be impressed with me, and maybe even to hire me to do something else.

But I am working on slowing down that automatic response that is so ingrained in many of us - because we're freelancers, or artists, or people-pleasers. Because whether I can successfully take on that request really isn't about whether I have the skill.

It's about whether I have the capacity.

That might be about your schedule - do the deadlines overlap with something you are already committed to? Or that might be about your mental load - are you already full up on projects that require deep thought? Or it might be about emotional toll - would this request require investment of yourself that would hurt other priorities?

Saying NO because of capacity often feels like a defeat to me. But it shouldn't - it represents a careful stewardship of your resources. We admire when organizations demonstrate this level of responsibility - why shouldn't we give ourselves credit for behaving in a sustainable way as well?

So next time you feel the urge to take on something new, just take a moment to check in with yourself:

"I know I have the skill to do this, but do I have the capacity?"

Then regardless of your decision, you are saying YES to yourself, and that is always worth doing.

(Photo: "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee" - CCPA Theatre @ Roosevelt University, February 2020)